(Readin' time: 1m 4s)
Check this out: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-48138441
This kind of captures the feel of the article:
So what exactly do these prison coaches do when they go all-out for the clients who can afford them?
"Once you go into custody you lose control of your life," prison consultant Larry Levine tells the BBC.
"When somebody hires me, I can help them take advantage of programmes, let them know what their rights are and what they can do to regain control."
Mr Levine has been in the business for years, but he also served a decade in all manner of federal prisons across the country.
"I'm not going to tell them what should happen - I'm going to tell them what really happens and why."
The whole article is worth a read. It covers issues like the cynical view prison consultants have of attorneys, and how one of the values such consultants create is helping their clients land in a prison that fits their needs. I'm not kidding with the last one.
It ends with this jewel:
"Yes, rates can become what some may consider expensive," Mr Paperny admits. "But frankly it's an investment."
Hiring a consultant to learn prison survival tactics alone is a waste, he adds. But for the wealthy, with businesses to run and brands to maintain?
"Our clients absolutely view it as an investment, rather than a cost."